Showing posts with label Humorous anecdotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humorous anecdotes. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Happy Birthday to me!!♫♫♫

As a gift to you on my Bday (Jan. 9), I will share another story with you that I wrote for the local paper some time ago. Some of the references are somewhat dated.

In Praise of Difference
When my DH and I still lived in the city, we had a "different" neighbor, named Shirley (changed to protect her identity). Shirley and I were born the same year.
We both had favorite expressions which we used to guide our children into adulthood. You might say we each had our own brand of wisdom.

I would say, "You want a ride to school? In my day, I walked thirteen blocks to school, rain or shine (true, but I never said uphill both ways in a blizzard).
She would say, "I'll be glad when you're old enough for your license. Then we can hit the road together on our Harleys."

I: "Pull down your miniskirt!"
She wore a miniskirt.

I: "Who's M.C. Hammer?"
She dances like M.C. Hammer and no joints creak.

I: "Curfew is midnight."
She: "They're only young once."

I: " Work before you play."
She: "Let's give it a lick-and-a -promise then we'll boogie."

I: "Walk before you run."
She: "Take a risk."

I: "A penny saved is a penny earned."
She: "Let's put a few bucks down and enjoy it while we pay it off."

I: "Make a plan and stick to it."
She: "Hang loose (be flexible)."

I: "Modesty is a virtue."
She: "If you've got it, flaunt it!"

I: "Isn't Sean Connery's smile sexy?"
She: "I sure like Mel gibson's cute toosh."

I just bought a body shaper: an "I-can't-believe-it's-a-corset".
She burned her bra in the sixties and still hasn't replaced it.

My husband shows me his holey socks, and I say I'll darn them on Friday.
She tells her hubby, "I"ll darn your socks when you fix the runs in my panty hose--buy new ones."

My adjectives are "groovy, neat, and cool".
She describes things as "totally awesome, rad, and like-funky."

I: "I love you, kids♥♥!"
She: " I love you, kids♥♥!"

My neighbour Shirley and I didn't always agree with each other's ways, but we both survived child-rearing.

Our kids all turned out to be responsible citizens.

But I never could figure out why everyone always thought I was older than Shirley.