She's Ba-a-ack; on Autopilot and Sometimes Out of Body

I can't believe how long it has been since I shared my thoughts with you.  Where we left off was in terrible grief over Tundra.  She was taken to the Humane Society on Friday afternoon, and after being assessed as too old, and, having killed, was not adoptable.  She would be euthanized later that day.  On Saturday I got the notion that I should have got rid of the sheep instead.  I began a fantasy scenario, whereby she wasn't put down on Friday because the vet got sick, and because it was the weekend, perhaps she is still alive, and I could phone and rescue her.  I imagined this scenario all weekend, and phoned at the earliest moment on Monday--but alas, it was too late.  After the euphoria of the fantasy of the weekend, I was shattered all over again.  I couldn't put her stuff away, I imagined that she had run away and would miraculously find her way home.  After about 1 week of crying almost constantly, it began to get a little, just a little better.  I put away her things, and I avoided vacuuming in case I found Tundra-weed (Tundra hair bunnies).   But Tundra had the decency to not even shed in her last few days home--this loyalty made me cry again.  Now I'm still sad, but it's bearable.  I can now look at her last photos--she didn't like to have her picture taken because of the flash.  (And I'm crying again as I write this).

After it was too late, I thought of all sorts of alternate solutions, solutions that would not require her to be tied up (which I abhor--dogs tied up for great lengths of time).  Seriously, getting rid of the sheep and getting more Llamas instead.  I do so miss her.  At first I couldn't even interact with Daisy and Sparky, aftaid that if I bonded any more I might lose them, too.

So now, onto the rest of life.  Everything else is busy and interesting, and frustrating and satisfying.

A week later I was working in the greenhouse, when, just before lunch, I felt a terrible squeezing in my chest, and the pain radiated up my neck.  I got sweaty and clammy, so I asked Kubota Man to take me to the hospital.  They sure give you the royal treatment when you have chest pains.  The protocol is to take blood, start an IV, take an ECG, and then watch you for 6+ hours, at which time they repeat the tests.  When you have heart muscle damage, an enzyme is released into the bloodstream which indicates a heart attack.  While they have your blood they also test for pancreas and liver indicators, as these organs may cause similar symptoms.  All tests are normal, Oxygen levels good.  Discharged at 9 pm--only liquids, water, juice and jello--I was bored and starving.  I went home with these souvenirs of the event--since I was dehydrated, the nurse, who goes to church with me, blew 2 veins before getting the IV in. I had taken an aspirin as a precaution, so my blood was good and thin.  My battle scars sure got me a lot of attention in the next week or so.

In this same time interval my quarterly Sales Tax report had to be submitted, as well as the Income Tax.  These little bits of business were done after a long day of working in the greenhouse.  Since our Income Tax Reports print out at 24 pages (for each of us), I took the plunge and filed electronically, and went to the bank the next day to pay the tax owing.  I'm kind of nervous about the electronic filing, since each return filed in just seconds--24 pages gone in seconds?  But I got a confirmation page to print out, so I hope it's all OK.  This was all due on April 30, I did it on April 28.  And on that day most of southern Alberta froze over, with a huge snowstorm that closed highways for hours--we didn't get any storm at our place.
I managed to finish the Bamboo Socks in Summer shades (from Mary Maxim).

I also completed the embroidery on the Christmas Stoking.  I will sew them into stockings in the fall.

Then I almost forgot that I had newspaper articles to write--our local paper prints every 2 weeks, and I write a gardening article in each edition.  For one edition I wrote about the use of shrubs in the landscape, and one about some basic garden lore.  And re-design our newspaper ads, submit the proofs, and establish the advertising schedule in 2 newspapers.

My next embroidery project should be SIL's Christmas stocking--a golfing Santa, but I don't know where I placed the charts,so I started a 3-D stand-up cross-stitched nativity scene.  This is the cover of the kit, showing all 11 pieces.

I have finished stitching the Blessed Virgin, and am working on one of the Magi.

The Friday just past, was our local High School's Mother's Day Strawberry Tea, Bake Sale and Plant Sale.  We give them a lot of plants at a discount, then they sell them at their event, and then we allow them to return unsold plants, of which there are usually very few.  I had to get everything ready on Wednesday, since on Thursdays I teach religion and visit Mom in the Nursing Home, then go grocery shopping 35 miles away.  The kids come on Thursday afternoon to pick up the plants, then they bring back the remnants on Friday afternoon.  They did well again this year.

Now I'm all finished transplanting (except some late petunias which won't be ready for a couple of weeks.  We had to set up the greenhouses for May 1 opening, the trees, shrubs and perennials had to be brought out of winter storage, and all this is why I'm on autopilot. We are so tired, it feels like we are operating out-of-body.  My mind isn't in sync with what the body is doing--it's as if I'm watching myself doing everything.  These few weeks I am grumpy.

Now it's mostly maintenance and customer service, which is quite a job anyways.  On Friday the first shipment of new trees and shrubs came in.  They need to be inventoried, priced and put away.  The next shipment is coming on Tuesday.

I am hoping that this  picture of an unusual Mosaic Geranium will make you curious to visit my other blog Weed it and Reap

On Sunday I went to church, proclaimed Scripture, and the Knights of Columbus honored all the mothers, grandmothers and great-grandmothers with a carnation.  When I got home, all the kids had phoned to wish me Happy Mother's Day (we don't celebrate because we are far apart,and some have to work.), those calls just made my day.

  During this season, I have to really organize my time to be able to get away to church on Sundays, but we still have to work that day,too.  Also yesterday, I got to work in a flower bed when the other work was done. That was a joy.  All the pain and fatigue lessened when I was outside, saw the geese fly over, and heard the robins. 

I am truly blessed.

Beauty and Confusion

Praise the Lord for beautiful sights. This picture of my Fuchsia Girl Flowering Crabapple could be a Wordless Wednesday picture, but after all the winter pictures I thought I would green up and beautify my blog. The nights are still cold, and we desperately need rain, but Nature is evolving like it should, only later. We need to have faith.

The garden is slowly being planted. Maybe today I will finish the seeds. I hate seeding, don't mind planting plants, and LOVE weeding, as long as they don't get away on me.

The greenhouse is getting emptier, we are starting to compost the plants that are past their prime. Customers are still coming steadily; because of the cold they have been cautious about planting.

Now the confusion: (This concerns me because my mom has Alzheimer-type dementia). I got up, weighed myself-- DH had already set out the dry oatmeal, the orange and the instant coffee in the cup-- ground the flaxseed for the oatmeal, added the hot water, and put the oatmeal into the breadbox (instead of the microwave). OOps. Dialled up the internet, and set up the picture to upload while I eat breakfast. Porridge was cooked (in the microwave), poured hot water into the coffee mug, added the brown sugar to my porridge, poured milk into the coffee, forgot to put milk on the porridge, Aaghhhh! Fixed that, sat down to breakfast. Normally, I do Sudoku while I eat, but today I decided to do a logic puzzle--having trouble wrapping my brain around the complicated clues. Panic!!

No.....wait......it's not early onset of Alzheimer.....it's a deficiency. A deficiency that can't be fixed by healthy eating or a supplement.....KNITTING DEFICIENCY aka KNITTING DROUGHT. I think the medical field should study that one. Too busy to do what you really love best.

Till next time: Every grandmother has a drawerful of strange crayon drawings and oddly spelled letters that she wouldn't swap for the Kohinoor diamond. (Marion G.)

I Have Come to the End of the Petunias!!!

Things for which I am grateful:

-- finished transplanting petunias,

-- tomorrow I expect to finish transplanting the last wave petunias and other pot stuffers,

--except for one seam, the first group of wedding alterations are done,

--we are healthy,

-- and many, many more.

Things that make me want to tear my hair out (but I don't, I just dwell on the above, and get myself to add to the above list ) :

--the weather. It is still below freezing at night, alternating rain and snow in the daytime. Even for us in the "Great White North" this is unusual, (+ we don't have volcanoes or hurricanes, and we have a comfortable house)

--slow business in the greenhouse because of the weather' (+ we might be able to catch up with our other work; don't count our chickens before they're hatched)

--we accidentlly locked a cat in the greenhouse (plastic covered, 2 layers inflated with air, $500+ per sheet. He/she clawed its way through both layers, a ragged 18" diameter hole, lost inflation, found it in the rain, lay in the mud to make temporary repairs, just before dark. Without inflation, the heating costs are much higher (+ we found it before dark so the repairs could be made. DH and I make a good team working under pressure. We rarely see mice. There are no rats in Alberta)

--DH gets cold at night, but his body radiates a lot of heat--I'm too hot. He snuggled up to get warm, didn't give me enough room to even turn over--I'm exhausted and grumpy, but he works so hard, I didn't say anything. (+ we have each other. When I don't feel well and get cold, I get to snuggle, too. While I couldn't sleep, I found the inspiration to solve a problem with the last dress alteration)

--the house is such a mess because we are busy in the greenhouse all day except for some hurried meals on the run, no energy left to clean at 9PM when we close (The joys of having your business in your yard) , and I am frustrated because i have no time to knit (+ we are productive in our senior years, our eyesight is good enough to notice the mess, we have a good house)

--test knitting a new sock pattern for a friend. Don't have appropriate yarn at home, won't get to the city for another week or so, dying to start, (+ will really appreciate that "me" moment when I go to my LYS again. I'll really be eager to start the project. The project can't distract me from other priorities)

--2 years after a car accident, I still have severe nerve pain in my feet and ankles. Neurologist ordered an MRI of the brain and spine since he is puzzled by the nature of the problems. MRI date not until Aug. (+ Considering the severity of the accident I could have been dead or crippled--considering these alternatives, I guess I got off easy. ++ We have a universal (though slow) health care system)

I just found another Prayer Shawl Ministry picture in my collection for future posts. That is inspiring to me, and reminding me that I have a white worsted lace Prayer Shawl to finish. It's not for anyone in particular, but we never know when it will be needed. (see one of the first posts where I share this ministry with my readers. ) I am on the left, and my friend and co-founder or our Church's Prayer Shawl Ministry--Jeanet, is on the right.

The crowning touch of my day's blessings, is the discovery of a new blog http://stitchingunderoaks.blogspot.com/, one of whose best (among many) features is the inspirational scripture verses and quotations that are posted there (the recipes aren't too shabby either). The Spirit works in miraculous ways.

Till next time: Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal. (Thomas Moore, "Come Ye Disconsolate")--found it in The Shack